Confessions of a Genius Co-worker

This blog is dedicated to Connie, a woman whose moments of complete stupidity pass over our shared cubicle wall like little paper airplanes of blithering ignorance.

A single middle-aged accountant with cougar-ish tendencies, when Connie isn't asking how many pieces of quinoa there are in a cup or messing up our company's credit rating, she can mostly be found singing along to Lady Gaga's Bad Romance in a voice just loud enough to hear. From the next building.

And before you ask: Names have been changed to protect the functionally useless.

Ask me anything

Chat 14
Notes Connie has discovered the Tim Hortons nutritional information website

Connie:	Hey! Fuiru! Guess how many calories are in a sour cream glazed doughnut?
Me:	Go on...
C:	No, you have to guess!
Me:	Twenty.
C:	No, it's three hundred and forty! Can you imagine? Three hundred and forty calories?
Me:	Mental!
C:	Guess how many calories are in an apple fritter!
Me:	Tell me.
C:	No, you have to guess!
Me:	Five hundred and eighty nine?
C:	No, it's three hundred and sixty! Can you imagine?
Me:	Err...
C:	Guess how many calories are in six Honey Cruller Timbits?
Me:	Oh God...
C:	[Makes me guess the calorific content of the entire range of Tim Hortons products, from doughnuts through to cookies to bagels to sandwiches to soups to the bread that accompanies the soups]
Me:	[Weeping softly]
C:	Hey, [our boss] had a Sour Cream Glaze earlier! Do you think I should go to his office and tell him how many calories are in it?
Me:	For the love of God, please...
C:	Hmm, I don't want to upset him by telling him how many calories in it. I have my annual review soon! Tee hee!
Me:	Yeah, plus there's the fact that you've just spent an hour looking up doughnut nutrition on the internet during month-end.
C:	Huh?