Confessions of a Genius Co-worker |
This blog is dedicated to Connie, a woman whose moments of complete stupidity pass over our shared cubicle wall like little paper airplanes of blithering ignorance. A single middle-aged accountant with cougar-ish tendencies, when Connie isn't asking how many pieces of quinoa there are in a cup or messing up our company's credit rating, she can mostly be found singing along to Lady Gaga's Bad Romance in a voice just loud enough to hear. From the next building. And before you ask: Names have been changed to protect the functionally useless. |
“Okay, so let’s agree to meet for lunch at 11:45…outside your office building…Don’t be late, okay…yeah, sure…well then, let’s synchronise our watches…wait, no, wait, I’m not wearing a watch…great idea, let’s synchronise our computer clocks!…Okay, so the clock on my computer is showing ten thirty…yeah, ten thirty exactly, got that…so we’ll be going to the Bohemia Grill? I love that TEN THIRTY ONE! TEN THIRTY ONE! No, sorry, the clock on my computer just changed, it’s ten thirty one now…yeah yeah, anyway, I was saying that I love the Bohemia Grill, they do great pancetta sandwiches…yeah…yeah, balsamic vineTEN THIRTY TWO! TEN THIRTY TWO!…yeah, balsamic vinegar…”
This went on for another five minutes.
