Confessions of a Genius Co-worker

This blog is dedicated to Connie, a woman whose moments of complete stupidity pass over our shared cubicle wall like little paper airplanes of blithering ignorance.

A single middle-aged accountant with cougar-ish tendencies, when Connie isn't asking how many pieces of quinoa there are in a cup or messing up our company's credit rating, she can mostly be found singing along to Lady Gaga's Bad Romance in a voice just loud enough to hear. From the next building.

And before you ask: Names have been changed to protect the functionally useless.

Ask me anything

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Notes Another colleague of ours is pregnant. She’s coming into work until the baby comes. The due date was yesterday.

Connie, upon seeing our coworker this morning, said to her, “Oh no! Your baby still hasn’t been born yet? What can we do to encourage him to come out? What if I give you a shock, like, jump out and surprise you?”

Connie apparently doesn’t know the difference between being pregnant and having the hiccups.